Bollywood Oi!

One of my more intrusive friends has taken up the dubious yet somewhat heroic act of periodically nagging me to watch the pride and joy of Indian entertainment: Bollywood. Being an ignoramus of titanic proportions when it comes to South Asian entertainment, I was instantly turned off by my companion’s unceremonious persistence. It was by sheer, biblical coincidence that I encountered a Bollywood video clip on YouTube. For reasons that would have confounded the world’s foremost psychiatrists, I went on a venomous rampage of Bollywood video content that lasted roughly an hour. Coming up for air, it dawned on me how little I know about Indian culture and how much I detest Bollywood movies.

Supporters of Bollywood may frantically argue that my disdain for Indian movies is unjust due to my lack of understanding and experience of Indian culture. But whose fault is that? With Indian culture still possessing a certain aura of mystic in the Wild West; the blame cannot be rightfully pinned on me. Modern homo sapiens attain the majority of their culture from the media. Thus, unless I partake on a daring adventure through the cool streets of Calcutta for six months, my tiny and rather simplistic excuse for a brain will never truly grasp the Indian point of view towards Bollywood. Myself, like most Americans, will never give the proper appreciation to the singing, dancing and flamboyant apparel that can be found in many Bollywood movies. With most Bollywood movies only appearing on specialty digital channels and flights to India being more valuable than a non-smokers lung, India may very well stay foreign to me for a very long time.

As I mentioned previously, my friend is a very persistent sort and she rightfully argued that it would be relatively inexpensive and virtually harmless to subscribe to the Bollywood channel my cable provider offers and give it a run through for a month or so. To be honest, I just don’t have the time or the energy to embark on a new journey across a very foreign and monstrously big entertainment medium. It is daunting and cumbersome to just follow the goings on in Hollywood and adding Bollywood isn’t going to make it any easier. I am also worried that instead of the usual Hollywood sewage of explosion, breasts and sub par acting, I will instead witness cheesy romance, awkward singing and dancing and Indians playing British soldiers in a harrowing and dramatic game of Cricket. My assumption may be ignorant, but it is my assumption. Bollywood may have much to offer when it comes to well made and entertaining content, but right now, it’s simply too foreign for us foreigners to understand.   

Ozzy Neav
De Novo Magazine

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